Winning Back Your Ex
Winning Back Your Ex
When you break up with someone you love, it is often tempting to try to get back together with your ex as soon as possible. The pangs of loneliness can have a tremendous toll on your psyche, prompting you to act impulsively. Some would keep calling their ex, show up everywhere their ex happens to be, keep profusely apologizing and assuring their ex that they have changed, some even shed tears and beg their ex to take them back. If you have an inclination to do such things, DON’T.
The appropriate thing to do is to take a break from the relationship. Agree with your ex that not being together may be is the best thing for both of you for the time being. Then go away and use the time to look within yourself so you can see how you can in any way improve. The idea is to make yourself the best person you can become. Eventually this will put you in a good place to win back your ex. So take a good look at yourself. Be honest. Where you have character flaws (especially when your charater flaws might be partly responsible for you breaking up), then admit it to yourself. Don’t play the blame game (‘…that was her fault, not mine’) or justify yourself (‘…I admit I was wrong, but what about him? He was at fault, too’) or give excuses (‘…I’m only human, can’t she see that?’).
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As you take stock of your own behavior and character, weed out the flaws you have (we all have some, so admit it). Whether it’s your flirtatious nature, short temper, pride, selfishness, controlling attitude, bossiness, dishonesty or anything else, treat it seriously and get rid of it fast. This has already hurt your ex and if you continue this way, you will hurt other people eventually, too.
While you are moving forward on your quest to improving yourself, don’t forget to take the opportunity to see if your ex still retains some if not all of their feelings for you. This would indicate whether it’s going to be worthwhile trying to win your ex back. There are some tell-tale signals that indicate your ex still has the hearts for you.
Firstly, is he or she trying to make you jealous? A relationship started as a result of a rebound is often an indication that either your ex is feeling very lonely without you or is trying to make you jealous. So if you see him or her starting a relationship on the rebound, don’t panic. It usually won’t last. Furthermore, you have an edge over your ex’s new partner because you already know your ex well whereas the new guy or girl needs to start knowing your ex from scratch. And as I mentioned, the rebound relationship could just be their way of trying to make you jealous.
Secondly, does your ex show displeasure when some other person of the opposite sex gets close to you? Your ex more often than not will try and deny being upset, but you know them well enough to know whether that is a lie or not. Being displeased is a sure indication that your ex still has feelings for you.
Thirdly, does your ex contact you for any small reason? I broke up with my ex because she migrated to another country and there was no way for us to carry on our relationship. Subsequently she found another guy but when she returned to my country for a visit a year later, she called me and we met up. Everyone could see she still had feelings for me then.
If there are these indications, your chances of winning your ex back are good, if you do your part in improving yourself. But even if these indications are not clearly seen, your self-improvement would go a long way in getting back together with your ex in due course.
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